A Scary Speech that Changed My Character

Kim Min Jae ("Jack")

<kkammandk@hanmail.net>


        Do you ever recall a person who influenced your life? If your answer is yes, I want to say to you that you have lived a valuable life. I remember a man who wrote scientific theories on a blackboard. As you may expect, he was my teacher in middle school. He taught science, but he was emotional, sentimental and friendly, unlike the characteristics of science. In some cases, however, he took a firm stand. He was a wonderful teacher.
        Before I met him, I was too shy to express myself, and I could never speak in front of other people. I was like a dumb person. I couldn't say, "I like you," to a girl, even if she was very attractive to me. I didn't like these introverted and negative characteristics of mine. I used to think how much better it would have been if I had been a girl, because I had been taught that a girl should be shy, quiet and graceful in manner. But I couldn't do anything about it. It seemed so ridiculous to think that I'd like to change into a girl, and it was folly.
        One day after school, my teacher called my name loudly from the window of the classroom when I was passing through the middle of the playground on my way home alone. After a while, we were sitting on a long bench near the stage of our school's playground under the warm spring sunshine. Putting his arm around my shoulders as if he were a father with his son, he started talking.

Boy! Don't be afraid of your circumstances. Face your fears! As you know, I'm teaching science. But when I was young as you are, I was also scared of science. I hated it. My teacher talked to me like this. At that time, I didn't know that I would someday talk to my student the same as he did. He introduced lots of stars in the sky to me one night and advised me to become intimate with them. After that, while I was getting to know the wonder of existence through the stars, I started to change, at last.... Now look at me! Don't you think I am the best science teacher?         We smiled and he continued, "You can do it. Well, I have an idea to help you have confidence in yourself. At the beginning, you'll feel rather embarrassed, but you'll be satisfied with it at the end of the course. Show yourself plainly to your friends, and then they will come to recognize your existence. Don't worry. You'll be better after this program."
        The next day, he declared, "Each of you must introduce one classmate in front of the class every day." A big disturbance arose in the class. Most students didn't seem to welcome that plan. It was also unwelcome news to me, but I trusted my teacher and I made up my mind to participate in that program.
        At the beginning, it was not easy, I stammered too much in a tremulous voice during my speech. I was more scared of their laughter than when I was alone in a toilet in the isolated countryside at night. However, as time went on, I came to realize that I was gradually enjoying that scary program. I could always find myself talking with my classmates. I was getting more positive without any self-consciousness. Finally, I realized that whoever he was, no one wasn't scared and strained in front of a big audience, and nothing was solved with the fear.
        Though about ten years have passed and I don't know where that teacher is now, whenever I have to speak in public, I think of his words. Then, they always enable me to control my fear a little and feel more comfortable. If I meet him again, I will tell him: "What you gave me was only some words, but their value was great and they will last forever in my mind."


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