During my winter vacation when I was a sophomore, I was very frustrated and depressed, as I had lost the goal of my life. I eagerly wanted to know the best way to succeed, and how to begin with a reasonably realistic goal and attain it. I was dissatisfied with my major, English Language and Literature, so I wanted to find work more acceptable to me. But I could not find a proper future job or goal of my life at all. I wanted and needed to speak English fluently and write like a native, but I did not achieve either of them. I was sick and tired of my monotonous life, and I gave everything up. Therefore without a goal I could not do anything satisfactorily.
        As you know, success is relative: not everybody wants to put together a ten-billion dollar conglomerate, or become President of the United States, or win the Nobel Peace Prize. Neither did I. I just wanted to do everything better in the future than I did at that time. I believed, "The woman who does well even in trivial and common work can do well in important work." I knew it's also important to make a habit of succeeding, and the easiest way to start is to succeed at something every day, gradually increasing the level of my ambitions and achievements.
        So I decided on getting new experiences everywhere. I would stroll in the street, department stores, galleries, and museums absentmindedly. And then I found a book at a big bookstore. The book was written by Joan Lee, a 51-year-old Korean career woman. The name of the book was Love and Success Will Not Wait for People. First, the title was very impressive and attractive to me. She was known by many people for her first book, Love at 23, Success at 42. In Korean society, women usually are not expected to have their own professions and happy marriages at the same time. They are forced to give up one of them to maintain either their own professional life or their family life. The first reason is that husbands will not do household chores, so their wives have to do all of the chores, such as washing dishes, washing clothes, cooking, and cleaning rooms. After all, any Korean wife with a career must handle her professional affairs and housework. It is very difficult for a woman to manage a job and a household, and it is for a man, too. But the difference is that men are not expected to do both. Therefore it is really necessary for a Korean husband to help his wife physically and mentally. The second reason is that the Korean government does not ensure the rights of women who want to have their jobs, and the executives of companies do not employ qualified women, because they think that a married woman cannot concentrate on her occupation. It is believed to raise children is the unique duty and right of women in Korea. Therefore a married woman usually gives her job up to bring up her children. So, a better daycare system is required for a woman to be able to continue her own job.
        I read the book in two days. I was eager to be a professional in the near future. Joan Lee was a professional, a famous and competent international lobbyist, and she was married to a handsome, generous, and perfect man, I think. She married a foreign Catholic priest who was the first generation dean at Seo Kang University. You know a priest cannot marry anybody, so the Pope, other priests, and his followers objected to their marriage. And to make matters worse, he was an American. In Korea, a marriage between a Korean and a person from another country is not usual. Through all these adversities, she overcame many objections and threats to be able to marry him. Without a doubt she firmly convinced herself for love. In the long run she got married to him and lived with her lover, husband, and friend happily, but he passed away a few years ago.
        Her philosophy of life is to never give up anything, and that led to success for her. Her self-reliance and confidence were a model to me. She taught me that to love myself is the best way to succeed in life. True love for ourselves is the best way to help others, too. I found the reason why I was frustrated and depressed. It was the absence of self-reliance and confidence. An easy assurance of manner was really necessary to me. So I tried to be as responsible as she about my common life.
        One day I was worried about how to revive my confidence completely. And then I was elected as president of the alumni association of my high school. By degrees, I regained more confidence to do everything better than ever. First of all, I had to love myself sincerely. I registered in a language institution to improve my listening ability, and I got up early in the morning. But one problem remained to me--love. I have had a boyfriend since two years ago. I quarreled with him every other day, and we were disappointed because we could not understand each other's heart and situation. That is to say, I thought he would know what I wanted though I did not tell him about what I wanted. The conflicts hurt me very deeply, and I could not bear the vicious circle of reconciliation and trouble. But it was my misunderstanding. He was a human, not God. He could not know my thoughts and feelings without communication. But Joan Lee helped me this time, too. She showed me true and unconditional love for her husband. She could have her profession and achieve her goal of life with her husband's aid, consideration, and love. The relationship between her and her husband showed me the eternity of love. Now I do not quarrel with my boyfriend any more and I try to understand him very patiently. Of course, I know what true love is and the best way to maintain love merrily.
        I have never met Joan Lee, but I am grateful to her for changing my attitude toward my whole life. First, thanks to her, I regained my confidence and I learned how to love myself. Second, I tried not to fight with my boyfriend anymore, and I made an effort to understand him as what he was. I would like to recommend this book, especially to Korean women university students who have not found their goal in life and true love. I think it would be very helpful to them. It will surely change their thoughts and lives. If you suffer from the torture of love, you should read this book. It will encourage you to improve the relationship between you and your loved one. Not only that, but women who are not satisfied with their whole present lives should read this, because I am sure it will give them a hint about how they can succeed in their lives.